Too Big! Go Away!

Over the last week I have read so many beautiful things written by family members and friends about Connor. Things that have made me laugh out loud remembering that special little boy, and things that have brought me to tears wishing he was still here.

I wish I could write words like those. I wish I could put all my emotions and feelings into sentences and produce something beautiful and worthy of Connor. But the truth is, I've discovered that in circumstances like this, I can't. I can't find the right things to say (and more often than not, end up saying something awful by mistake and wind up putting my foot in my mouth.)

I've been very blessed to have been Connor's cousin. He was the only other red headed grandchild, and because of that I always felt a small, but special connection to him. I will always remember his funny "Connorisms" and how he would destroy our basement everytime he came over :) I'll remember the "love taps and kicks" he'd give in grandma and grandpa's crowded living room (and how even Katie had learned to walk around the coffee table to avoid being loved by Connor) I'll remember how he used to cry out "HEY!" from the back seat of the van when you drove by a McDonalds or playground. How the giggles would spill out when he just looked at my sister Robyn - (I agree Connor, she really is just that funny looking!) A particular trip to Burger King and how he wore his paper crown all the way back to our house.

I'm very thankful to Uncle Jerry and Auntie Geraldine for sharing him with us all - for allowing us to be there with them during his last few days. For allowing us to be there when he left to be with our Heavenly Father in heaven. It was very powerful and moving, and something I will remember for ever.